I’m Really a Superstar

Translator: Legge Editor: Legge

On the same night.

Counting down to the live broadcast.

"Three!"

"Two!"

"One!"

The live broadcast of I Am a Singer\'s grand finals officially kicked off!

…

Back at home.

His mother was holding a packet of melon seeds and pointing at the television. "Little Wu, it\'s about to begin!"

"Coming, Auntie." Wu Zeqing walked over gracefully and sat down.

His father asked, "When does Little Ye come on?"

His mother, who was munching on the melon seeds, said, "I don\'t know."

…

At the studio.

Everyone was putting in overtime today and stayed behind to watch the live broadcast.

Ha Qiqi gasped and said, "It\'s starting!"

Little Wang said excitedly, "Just who could Director Zhang have invited?"

Zhang Zuo said, "I\'m not sure, he said it was a secret."

Tong Fu laughed and said, "He didn\'t even tell us about it. Could there be a surprise?"

Little Wang said, "I still believe that Director Zhang will emerge as the champion!"

When the others heard that, they could only respond with a bitter laugh.

Emerge as the champion?

Was that even possible?

…

At Peking University.

In the student dormitories.

"The live broadcast is starting!"

"Sisters, come over quickly!"

"Aiya, I don\'t feel like watching it anymore."

"Why not?"

"I\'m a diehard fan of Zhang Ye. If he can\'t write any good songs and his singing has declined, what\'s there left for me to watch? It will only make me feel worse!"

"Maybe Professor Zhang will be able to turn things around?"

"Yeah, let\'s just watch."

"Alright."

…

At this moment.

Viewers around the country were all waiting before their televisions.

Dong Shanshan appeared in a stunning red dress and amazed countless people. The opening advertising messages were presented and an introduction of the grand finals\' rules was announced. She also did so with humor within her professionalism, making many people laugh to tears. It was only now that a lot of them realized that this sexy goddess they thought only relied on her looks and figure was actually able to front a show by herself. Ignoring her looks and figure, she was still an excellent host!

On Weibo.

"Shanshan\'s popularity is going to soar!"

"She\'s always gonna be my goddess!"

"I really like her!"

"She doesn\'t have any scandals and even keeps a low profile!"

"Right. Maintaining such a good reputation despite going the sexy route, there\'s really no one who could do it except her!"

"Teacher Shanshan is doing better and better these days."

"That\'s because she has the support of Zhang Ye."

"That\'s right. As long as Zhang Ye makes a show, the host will be Dong Shanshan. No one stands a chance against her. Their relationship as classmates goes way back."

"Zhang Ye is indeed a loyal friend."

"Yeah, Shanshan and Zhang Ye\'s fan clubs have almost become a family."

After that, the buildup performances began. The eliminated singers from before all returned to sing for the show.

Zhao Wuliu…

Xue Kaiqi…

Li Naran…

Good songs kept coming one after another.

The television viewers and live studio audience were all mesmerized from listening.

"They\'re all such great singers!"

"I feel that every one of them could have made it into the grand finals!"

"Yeah, they sang amazingly."

"At the very least, they\'re still better than Zhang Ye."

"Heh, don\'t mention that fellow anymore. We still don\'t know which celebrity guest partner he invited for today."

"That\'s right. All the other singer\'s guest partners have already been exposed. Even though it might not be true, there\'s still a general idea of who\'s coming. It\'s only Zhang Ye\'s guest who hasn\'t been revealed!"

"We\'ll find out very soon."

"He better not pull some stunt again!"

"Pfft, yeah, he\'s always full of surprises!"

The buildup performances ended.

The competition proper finally began!

When Dong Shanshan reappeared onstage, everyone\'s hearts jumped into their throats as they stared hard and pricked up their ears, as though afraid of missing a scene or a note.

In the studio.

On the stage.

Dong Shanshan smiled and said, "Next up, we\'re going to officially begin the competition. The order of appearance for the grand finals will still be decided by picking lots. However, our first singer today did not partake in the lot picking and requested to be the first one to come onstage to perform. After seeking the consent of the other singers, our program team chose to respect this decision." With a pause, she added on, "But of course, we didn\'t dare to not respect this decision either since it is our executive director we\'re talking about."

The entire studio audience laughed.

"Zhang Ye!"

"Zhang Ye will be singing first?"

"Who\'s his guest partner?"

"There\'s a fool who would request to go first?"

"The first one to sing will be very disadvantaged!"

Everyone started whispering.

Dong Shanshan said, "So, let\'s welcome the first singer and his celebrity guest partner on. We\'ll hand the stage over to them."

She left the stage.

The spotlights immediately shone on the moon gate.

The live studio audience turned and stared in that direction!

No one blinked at their televisions!

Even the singers backstage were waiting anxiously to see who Zhang Ye had invited!

With the lights on them, two figures slowly walked out. One of them was smiling and the other was waving to the audience. When they saw who it was beside Zhang Ye, each and every person was flabbergasted. At this moment, it was as though 10,000 grass mud horses were rampaging through their mind\'s eye without taking a single wisp of a cloud away!

People screaming!

People passing out!

People staring!

There was disbelief!

It blew up in the studio and in front of the televisions!

"Ah!"

"Why is it him?"

"What the heck!"

"Zhang Ye! You really don\'t have a shred of decency in you!"

"I really burst out laughing! Hahahaha!"

"Th-This is way too goddamn unexpected!"

"My mom just asked why I was kneeling watching TV!"

"Zhang Ye, I really have to give it to you!"

"Th-This is something that only you can fucking think of!"

His mother was stunned.

His father was dumbfounded.

Wu Zeqing quirked a corner of her lip up.

Ha Qiqi nearly fell out of her seat!

Zhang Zuo stared with wide eyes.

Xiaodong burst into laughter!

Amy was at a loss for words!

Zhang Xia: "…"

Chen Guang: "…"

No one had expected it to be him!

everyone has speculated and come up with many possible candidates as to who might be Zhang Ye\'s celebrity guest partner. If Zhang Ye wanted to turn things around, then the first round of the grand finals was incredibly important. At a time Zhang Ye couldn\'t produce any more good songs, finding a powerhouse singer was the best way for him to get more votes. But to everyone\'s surprise, Zhang Ye actually found someone no one could have ever thought of. Yes, it was someone who didn\'t even cross their minds!

It was Yao Jiancai!

Zhang Ye\'s best partner!

"I\'m gonna cry!"

"Old Yao, don\'t fool around! Hurry back home!"

"Old Yao, did you come to the wrong studio?"

"This is I Am a Singer, not some crosstalk contest!"

"I\'m gonna faint too!"

"What\'s the meaning of this? Are you two going to put together a crosstalk? Pfft!"

"I\'m cramping up with laughter! Zhang Ye is too good at starting things!"

"If Old Yao can really sing, I\'ll fucking streak in public! I\'ll do it right now!"

"I\'ll go as well!"

"I would really like to see how these two fellas are going to sing!"

"Damn, they\'ve brought out a crosstalk table!"

"Are they really going to fucking perform a crosstalk?"

"This is a singing competition, why would they perform a crosstalk?"

"If these two can really do a crosstalk with music, I\'ll call them both daddy!"

"I\'ll call them mummy!"

"Come on, how the hell can there be a musical crosstalk!"

A group of professional music critics and fellow peers sitting in the front row were also stunned when they saw Zhang Ye picking up a " gavel 1 " block.

The table had been carried out onto the stage.

Both Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai were dressed in their crosstalk costumes.

Suddenly, with a bang, the gavel block was slammed onto the table!

Zhang Ye opened his mouth and recited.

"Speaking and acting out the right way to live life.

"Walking the straightest of three tracks.

"What goes around comes around.

"Change is the only constant."

After the introduction poem was said, the sound of a gong cut in and the musical instruments started playing!

Zhang Ye sang.

"I was born to an impoverished family,

"with six maids and a dozen or so security guards.

"But to be straightforward, and to embody righteousness,

"I beat up Southern Mountain Nursing Home,

"trample on North Head Preschool,

"I make anyone over 90 and under 9 cower in fear!"

Zhang Xia laughed. "Pfft!"

Xiaodong burst into laughter on the spot!

Born to an impoverished family?

Is this what you call being born to an impoverished family!

Over 90 and under 9?

Aiyo, why don\'t you just die or something!

Amy was stunned. "Rap? Is this rap?"

Some of those in the audience were laughing while others were taken aback. Fuck, he could really sing it!

The audience was shocked watching!

Zhang Ye calmly sang at a fast pace.

"He says the Analects have recorded

"the world was evil. Can\'t deal, leave.

"You can\'t have your cake and eat it too.

"You don\'t have a house or a car, but you\'re not mean.

"Worship me so that whoever tries to bully you, will be slashed by me three times!"

Yao Jiancai latched onto that. "How?"

Zhang Ye said, "By slashing his car tires, geddit!"

The audience was in stitches!

"Hahahaha!"

"Aiyo!"

"These two are so terrible!"

"These lyrics are so damn funny!"

By now, the song was finally coming to the end.

The audience was also getting more and more intrigued as they listened!

Zhang Ye sang, "But right then, a fearsome being stood next to me, staring, putting his hand in his bag like a mugger." He looked at Yao Jiancai.

Yao Jiancai already had his hand in the bag with a fierce look on his face.

Zhang Ye continued singing, "How could Lord Zhang take this lying down? With dignity at stake, he swaggered over cool as could be and said—" Then his voice faded. "Bro, is there something you want?"

The audience cramped up with laughter again!

Do you call this cool?

Do you call this swagger?

Yao Jiancai sneered, pointing with his chin, "Do you know who was responsible for last year\'s mutilated corpse in the moat?"

Zhang Ye said, "Huh?"

Yao Jiancai snarled, "Do you know who was responsible for beating someone up last month until they became a retard?"

"Huh?"

Yao Jiancai pointed at his feet. "Then surely you know who was responsible for that fatal stabbing right here two days ago?"

Zhang Ye said in fright, "Huh? I don\'t know, what do you want?"

The audience was also listening attentively!

What did he want?

Were they going to start fighting?

Did he bump into some vicious guy?

Yao Jiancai stared hard as he said, "You really don\'t know?"

Zhang Ye said, "I real-l-l-l-ly don\'t know!"

All of a sudden, Yao Jiancai took a newspaper out of his bag as he switched to a sharp, high-pitched voice and said with a grin, "Hey, then why don\'t you buy a copy of Legal Daily?"

Everyone in the studio saw red!

Legal Daily?

So you\'re just a fucking newspaper hawker?!

The song ended!

Applause rang out instantly!

At the same time, the sound of laughter went on for a very long while. Even Dong Shanshan looked like she was tearing up from laughter offstage. It was also her first time hearing this!

Excitement was running high online too!

"I passed out laughing!"

"That was so much fun!"

"Musical crosstalk? They really could do it?"

"I\'m convinced!"

"I was on my knees early on in the song!"

"Who was the one who said that they\'ll call them daddy and mummy? Who mentioned that they\'d go streaking? Get out there! They\'ve really used rap music to perform a crosstalk!"

"Even this is possible?!"

" Nonsense Has Its Nonsense Logic 2 "!

A musical crosstalk song from Zhang Ye\'s former world!

The people of this world had obviously not heard something like this before, nor had anything like it ever appeared!

Even the music critics and professionals in the music industry who were sitting in the front row had been stunned and overwhelmed by Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai\'s musical crosstalk!

1. A wooden block used in crosstalk performances.

2. https://youtu.be/zwZ4vcZrFDA