I’m Really a Superstar

Translator: Legge Editor: Legge

The audience left.

The votes were being counted.

The singers went back into their respective rooms.

And at this moment, the hosts\' battle to sign the singers began. When Executive Producer Hu Fei announced the start of this segment, the hosts yelled and rushed out of the room like sprinters. He squeezed past him, she pushed her, she tripped him over, everyone was trying to run out except for Dong Shanshan. She just walked behind them with a smile on her face.

"Who pushed me!"

"Stand aside!"

"Grandma Zhang is mine!"

"Damn, someone even tripped me?"

"Hey, you guys are too devious!"

"Behave, people! Watch how you\'re acting, my comrades. We\'re recording a show here!"

These several hosts were not the big names of Beijing Television who hosted the Spring Festival Gala on their satellite channel. Instead, they were the younger bunch of hosts who were lesser known to most viewers. This was specifically requested by Zhang Ye, as Dong Shanshan alone was enough to hold the group together. The others would then focus on "entertaining" with their antics and could behave without any restraints. That was why the younger and less popular hosts were more suited for these roles. This segment might look like it didn\'t add any value to the show and was carried out without proper planning, but it was in fact carefully planned out by Zhang Ye with the dozen odd host-managers 1 over many meetings before the actual recording took place. He knew exactly how this segment would proceed, which was what his role was all about. The importance of the executive director could easily be seen here! This was also why Hu Fei and Beijing Television had desperately wanted Zhang Ye to be the executive director back when they were filming King of Masked Singers. When it came to ability, experience, results, and attitude, there wasn\'t any other variety show director in the industry who could match Zhang Ye\'s professionalism.

The host-managers were playfully laughing and fighting as they rushed into the singers\' waiting rooms that were not labeled. When a male host who ran the fastest pushed open one of the doors, he let out a surprised squeal and quickly entered, wanting to close the door. But two female hosts rushed up to the door behind him and quickly pulled at the door to stop him from closing it.

One of the female hosts asked, "Who\'s inside?"

The male host shouted, "There\'s no one in here!"

"Who are you trying to fool! Open the door!" the other female host said with a laugh.

Behind them, the other hosts also rushed over to help pull open the door!

"Ah!"

"Grandma Zhang!"

"It\'s Grandma Zhang!"

Inside the room, Zhang Xia laughed as she looked at them. She was really amused. "What are you all doing?"

In the end, all of the host-managers managed to get in and were each holding a contract in their hands.

The male host who got into the room first ran over and knelt down in front of Zhang Xia. "Grandma Zhang, I\'ll introduce myself first. My name is Big Lei, But you can call me Little Lei too. From now on, I shall be your manager on the stage of I Am a Singer!"

Zhang Xia smiled. "Hello."

"What do you mean by \'from now on\'?"

"Step aside, Big Lei!"

"Grandma Zhang, please sign with me!"

"Didn\'t you say that you wanted to be Teacher Zhao Wuliu\'s manager?"

"I\'ve changed my mind, alright!"

"Grandma Zhang, ignore her. Sign with me instead! She\'s two-faced!"

Another female host was even more aggressive. She went and hugged Zhang Xia. "Grandma! My dearest grandma!"

Zhang Xia reacted in surprise. "Wow, you\'re even recognizing me as kin?"

Zhang Xia was the most wanted singer right now. After she sang "Wild Rose," Zhang Xia turned into the host-managers\' favorite singer to sign as it would mean they wouldn\'t have any worries of getting eliminated!

At this moment, Dong Shanshan came into the room.

"Sister Shan, don\'t you steal her away from us!"

"Shanshan, it\'s too crowded in here! Don\'t come in!"

Zhang Xia smiled and said, "You want to sign me as well?"

Dong Shanshan smiled and said, "Yes, Grandma Zhang."

Zhang Xia was spoiled for choice. She said, "This is going to be difficult. Who should I sign with? I can only choose one of you."

"Sign with me!"

"Me! Me! Me!\'

"My dearest grandma!"

Everyone rushed forward and started selling themselves.

In the end, Dong Shanshan only needed to say a few words to defeat everyone else. She tucked her hair behind her ear and said, "Grandma Zhang, they\'ve all introduced themselves, so it\'s my turn. My name is Dong Shanshan, and I\'m a college classmate of our I Am a Singer\'s Executive Director Zhang Ye. Back at school, we sat in front of and behind each other. He copied my assignments and stole my eraser too, so you should understand that I\'m the one who has the best relationship with the program team leader among these people. In the future, if you have any requests or needs, you can notify me directly. Everything will be OK and I\'ll get it done for you."

Zhang Xia pointed at her the moment she heard that. "It\'s you then, Shanshan! Let\'s sign the contract!"

Dong Shanshan gave a triumphant smile.

The other host-managers nearly fainted!

"You can do that?"

"Sister Shan, that was so shameless!"

"What the hell!"

"I have to give you that introduction!"

Since Zhang Xia signed with Dong Shanshan, they had to switch their targets. The group dispersed amid the hubbub to go fight for their second-choice singer!

…

Half an hour later.

The seven singers and their host-managers were taken to a small recording studio by the program team staff. There were 14 chairs and some recording equipment in there.

The singers got seated.

The host-managers were up to their usual antics again.

Dong Shanshan laughed and said, "Has everyone been paired with their favorite singers?"

The host-managers all said things like "yeah," "yup," and "that\'s right."

Dong Shanshan\'s tone changed as she smirked. "How can that be? How could it be that fortuitous!"

Everyone burst out laughing!

Chen Guang, Xiaodong, and the others were also tickled!

"I suppose this is where they\'re going to announce the results, right?"

"Phew, I\'m getting a little nervous."

"Grandma Zhang, you\'re feeling nervous?"

"Your singing really convinced me."

"Old Zhao, we haven\'t met each other in a long time, have we?"

"That\'s right, Big Sis Zhang."

"Nice to meet you, Teacher Zhao Wuliu. I\'m a fan."

"You\'re Amy, right? It\'s our first time meeting today."

"Yup, yup, I was still a little kid when you were famous."

"And I listen to Spring Garden\'s songs very often. They\'re really good."

Everyone began chatting. This was their way of easing the tension that had built up. All of these big names here today, which were not famous or have not been popular before? What big occasions had they not seen? Yet for some reason, even an old hand like Zhao Wuliu and national bel canto songstress Zhang Xia got sweaty palms. It was because this wasn\'t a performance. To them, this wasn\'t simply a variety show either. It was a competition with winners and losers, a place they could be eliminated from. The results of their performances today were very important. If they didn\'t do well in this qualifier, then they might just get eliminated in the knockout round 2 . No one hoped it would happen to them, so they were anxious and nervous and held expectations for the results that they would get.

All of a sudden, they heard footsteps.

Zhang Ye\'s figure finally appeared in front of them. He was dressed in formal attire and walked in at a very slow pace. He had a very serious look on his face as he said, "Hello, everyone. I am the executive director, Zhang Ye."

The atmosphere had an imposing air to it.

"Director Zhang."

"Are the results out yet?"

"Please announce them."

"Huu, I\'m sweating!"

"Me too!"

The host-managers were chattering.

Zhang Ye stood still and said calmly, "First off, thank you to the staff from the Beijing Notary Public Office for supervising the entire counting of votes. The results of the count have been inputted into this 8-inch tablet that I\'m holding that\'s running on the latest multi-core technology." Pausing, he picked up a bottle beside him as the camera zoomed in on him. "Before I announce the results, let me take a sip of this Honey Sweet fruit juice to soothe my throat." After he sampled it, he said, "Mmm, that was delicious. Actually, I\'m more nervous than any of you. That\'s why I still have to drink this Brain Gold, the leading health supplement brand in the country, to improve my state of mind." A crew member next to him handed him an item. Zhang Ye opened the packaging and said in surprise, "Oh, there\'s even a gold bar in here? So it\'s true that there\'s a chance of winning a gold bar from this new gift box packaging of Brain Gold products?"

Everyone burst out laughing!

Xiaodong said, "Director Zhang is such a professional!"

Zhang Xia said, "Was that an ad?"

A female host-manager said, "That definitely wasn\'t an ad!"

Another host-manager said, "That\'s right, there was no hint of any advertising!"

"Yeah, totally no hints!" Another male host-manager laughed as he glanced over.

No hints? Your sister!

That was too fucking laden with advertising messages!

A lot of viewers had become very sensitive and negative towards product placement in shows. But that was still dependent on who was doing it. Zhang Ye\'s methods had always been different from others\'. This fellow could come up with all kinds of creative ways to bring in an advertisement and even use it to make everyone laugh. This was also the reason why even though I Am a Singer\'s advertisement sponsorship fees were very expensive, many companies were willing to work with them. Zhang Ye\'s professionalism was well-known in the industry. As long as he had the chance to do it, Zhang Ye would flash an advertisement onscreen. This was unlike the other television stations and other media where they were always covering up their advertising motives for fear that the viewers would realize it.

Zhang Ye said, "Next up is the announcement of the rankings. But before that, I\'d like to ask everyone what you all think about this competition?"

Zhao Wuliu smiled and said, "Everyone here are experts."

Zhang Xia said, "The audio setup is pretty good."

Xiaodong said, "I just feel that there\'s too much pressure."

He Huan gave a wry smile. "If I\'d known earlier who the other six were, I don\'t think I would\'ve agreed to join."

Amy said, "Teacher He, I should be the one saying that, alright!"

Zhang Ye smiled. "First of all, let me thank all of you for coming on behalf of the program team. All of you have been famous singers for a long time, so by being willing to take a step down to join I Am a Singer\'s knockout competition, I know how difficult of a choice that was to make. But you still came anyway, which is why I want to thank all of you. Of course, since this is a competition, then there must be a ranking. Honestly," he glanced at the tablet in his hand and continued, "when I saw this ranking, I was a little surprised. So, for the first one, I would like to announce the fourth place singer."

Surprised?

Why was he surprised?

The singers and their managers\' hearts pounded from the suspense!

Who would be in fourth place?

This was a very conservative spot that signified an alright performance and was acceptable.

Zhang Ye looked at the tablet. "In the first episode of the first season of Brain Gold\'s I Am a Singer, the singer in fourth place is…" He paused.

Everyone was staring in wait with wide eyes.

One second.

Five seconds.

Ten seconds.

Nothing fucking happened!

"Director Zhang?"

"Did you fall asleep?"

"Why aren\'t you announcing the results?"

"Aiyo, I\'m dying from the anxiety!"

The host-managers could not bear it!

Zhang Ye apologized, "Sorry about that, I got distracted. I was thinking about how much that gold bar I found in the Brain Gold gift box would fetch on the market. Could you excuse me while I go and sell it off?" He then went to turn around to leave.

Xiaodong was stunned. "Hey, where are you going?"

Amy was dumbfounded. "Director Zhang, who\'s going to announce the rankings if you leave now?"

Dong Shanshan giggled, "Pfft!"

Zhang Xia was tickled as well. "Director, please hurry up."

Zhang Ye smacked his lips. "Well, alright then. I guess I\'ll announce the rankings first. The singer in fourth place is…" After another long pause, he said, "Xiaodong—"

Xiaodong was just about to react.

But Zhang Ye said in an unhurried tone, "What place do you think you\'re in?"

What the!

It\'s not me?

Everyone was crying out from the torture!

"Director Zhang!"

"Come on!"

"Can you announce it once and for all?"

"Ahhhh!"

The cameras had been recording for 15 minutes by now!

But as it stood? Zhang Ye was still rambling and not a single spot had been announced!

Everyone nearly vomited blood!

Zhang Ye had once shocked everyone on the stage of The Voice by speaking like a machine gun. Everyone in the industry was so amazed by him that they claimed there wouldn\'t be a second person in the field of hosting who could speak as fast as him in the entire world!

But now?

What the hell is this?

Where\'d that rapidfire host go?

Aren\'t you being too damn long-winded?!

1. The number of host-managers here includes those who will be used for the replacement singers.

2. Every 2 episodes, a knockout round is held | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Am_a_Singer_(Chinese_TV_series)#Competition_rules