I’m Really a Superstar

Translator: Legge Editor: Legge

It was the first day of the Lunar New Year.

Morning.

The netizens were still having a lot of fun.

"I\'ve been laughing the entire night!"

"I\'ve already reread the entire sequence of events from the beginning!"

"Me too. I\'ve reread all of Teacher Zhang Ye\'s Weibo post from yesterday! Hahaha!"

"Damn, what happened yesterday?"

"What happened? I\'m just a bypassing southerner who doesn\'t watch the Spring Festival Gala."

"You guys came too late, but you\'ll understand after you read Zhang Ye\'s Weibo! For several hours during the live broadcast of Central TV\'s Spring Festival Gala, Zhang Ye made over a hundred of ridiculing posts regarding the show! It was really wonderful!"

"What kind of mind does he have to be able to come up with those hundred-some posts?!"

"Yeah, go and take a look! We were made to kneel due to his insults last night!"

"Zhang Ye\'s temper is what I like most about him! He does not have any pretense at all! He just says whatever he likes!"

"That\'s right. Usually, for most top-rated B-list celebrities like him, which among them do not mince their words when speaking? But Zhang Ye is different; that guy is incredibly fearless!"

"Supporting Zhang Ye!"

"I really, really like him!"

Those hundred-odd ridiculing posts made by Zhang Ye were quickly forwarded by the netizens. Each and every one of those insults were the quintessence of wisdom from the netizens and flamers from his previous world against the Spring Festival Gala over many years. Not only did those insults stand the test of time, a lot of them were known by many in his previous world and would naturally be as popular and well-received in this world!

Goof Group.

This was the celebrity chat group that Zhang Ye had recently joined. At this moment, many of the celebrities were active online.

Dongdong, a member of a popular domestic group, messaged: "Teacher Zhang, you really are brave enough to say anything! After reading your ridiculing posts from last night, I completely take my hat off to you!"

Zhang Ye typed: "Why would I be scared to speak?"

Dongdong: "…OK then."

A-list celebrity, Ning Lan: "Bro, you sure have guts."

Fan Wenli interrupted: "Hur hur, you made it sound like he did not have guts in the past."

Fan Wenli\'s husband, Chen Guang, sent a smiley face. "This guy has always been like that. The things we never dare to say or find unsuitable to bring up can be repeated by him every day without any consequences whatsoever."

Ning Lan said: "If I even dare to criticize the Spring Festival Gala once, there would probably be a lot of people coming after me, much less posting more than a hundred times about it. Then my work schedule for next year would definitely be reduced by 20% and I\'d probably lose my fans too."

Huo Dongfang replied: "That\'s why you aren\'t Zhang Ye."

Dongdong commented cheekily: "This is what we call the demeanor of a celebrity. The way that every celebrity speaks and does things is different. We definitely couldn\'t say the same things that Teacher Zhang Ye says. Unless Sister Ning intends to become a female hooligan of the entertainment industry and get shouted at and beaten up by everyone wherever she goes?"

Ning Lan: "Then I better not consider it at all."

Zhang Ye sent a blinking emoji and asked: "Who\'s the hooligan?"

"Pfft!"

"Who do you think?!"

Everyone was tickled.

Suddenly, one name appeared out of nowhere.

Zhang Yuanqi: "Yo, Zhang Ye has joined the group too?"

Ning Lan laughed and said: "You\'re finally online."

Zhang Yuanqi: "I\'m been too busy recently. The Spring Festival Gala has really tired me out."

Dongdong: "Teacher Zhang joined the group some time ago. Sister Zhang, did you only learn of it now?"

Huo Dongfang: "Sister Zhang, it\'s been a while."

An A-list actor said: "Hello, Sister Zhang."

A B-list male singer: "Hi, Sister Zhang."

Many of those celebrities who had not appeared recently popped up.

Zhang Ye played along and said: "Hello, Sister Zhang."

After Zhang Yuanqi greeted all of them, she asked Zhang Ye: "Are you performing at Beijing TV\'s Spring Festival Gala this year? Do well. I\'m looking forward to your crosstalk routine."

Zhang Ye laughed, "Sure."

Dongdong: "Teacher Zhang, break a leg!"

Huo Dongfang: "Why isn\'t anyone cheering for me?"

Chen Guang asked: "Old Huo, you have a show tonight as well?"

Huo Dongfang said: "Liaoning TV\'s Spring Festival Gala has invited me to perform."

Fan Wenli sent a smile. "I got invited to Hunan TV\'s Spring Festival Gala. In fact, I\'m already at the TV station now."

Another big shot celebrity: "I\'ll be making a guest appearance in a skit on Dragon TV\'s Spring Festival Gala tonight."

This was a group in which most of the entertainment industry\'s big names were gathered. Except for a few semi-retired celebrities, the others were the most popular superstars as of now, so they naturally wouldn\'t miss out on the Spring Festival Galas. Some celebrities with higher statuses and better luck could appear on Central TV\'s Spring Festival Gala, and those who couldn\'t would still be able to get a spot on the other provincial stations\' Spring Festival Galas.

Zhang Yuanqi gave her well wishes to all: "Everyone, break a leg. Have an auspicious start to the new year!"

"OK!"

"Thank you, Sister Zhang."

"The most intense competition will start this night!"

"There\'s over twenty Spring Festival Gala events on the provincial stations, how can it not be intense!"

"Let\'s see which station will do better than the others this year."

"I still think Liaoning TV and Hunan TV have the higher hopes as they invited more big shots to their shows."

"Beijing TV is a candidate as well."

"I have high hopes for Dragon TV because I\'ll be there, haha!"

...

At home.

Zhang Ye was not familiar with many of the celebrities in the Goof Group and it could even be said that he did not know them at all. As he hadn\'t had any dealings with them, he did not bother to start a conversation with them. Seeing that everyone was happily chatting, Zhang Ye silently closed the chat app instead. He set his cell phone to silent before throwing it onto his bed.

Let\'s practice a bit more again!

It will be a proper routine this time!

Taking out a sheet of A4 paper, Zhang Ye read through the speed recital lines written on it once. Then he closed his eyes and began rattling it off as he recited it without reading. Zhang Ye\'s reciting speed gradually got faster and faster, but he would sometimes stutter in between the lines. Frowning as he shook his head in displeasure, he restarted from the beginning again.

One time.

Five times.

Ten times.

Since waking up at 7 AM, he practiced hard until 10 AM.

Zhang Ye was putting a lot of hard work into this, having already practiced this for several days now. Actually, he didn\'t have any problems with it except that he had high expectations of himself. Since he promised Wu Zeqing to perform a proper crosstalk routine to show those people what he could do, he had to strive for perfection without any drawbacks! This time he was prepared to perform a proper crosstalk routine by using other people\'s doubt of him to smack their faces in response!

The Three Vulgarities?

Only knows how to scold people?

Can\'t even be considered crosstalk?

Alright then, this bro will let you all have a listen to my routine this time by performing a traditional crosstalk routine that you bunch of people are best at! Do you people really think that I don\'t know how to perform in your style? Today, I will follow a traditional crosstalk format and Spring Festival Gala\'s crosstalk style to show everyone that I can still say it better than all of you!

...

The day of the galas.

The promotion rivalry for each provincial stations\' Spring Festival Gala was getting intense!

Some of the provincial stations\' Spring Festival Galas were doing their promotions on the Internet and the updates about their Spring Festival Gala were seen everywhere on Weibo. There was even some advertising that a Heavenly King was going to withdraw from their Spring Festival Gala, yet later on, news was that the Heavenly King would not withdraw from the show. After that, the news of withdrawing and not withdrawing kept happening several times as it forcefully created a hype to attract attention. And some other provincial stations\' Spring Festival Galas invested a lot of money into buying advertisement spots at major discussion forums and online video hosting sites. Those advertisements could be seen almost everywhere. Anyways, each of them were trying to outshine the other as everyone was hoping to get off to a winning start on the first day of the new year. This also concerned the survival of the television stations and no one was going to back down!

As the promotions were battling it out, the netizens joined in.

"I will definitely tune into Liaoning TV!"

"I\'ll watch whichever station\'s Spring Festival Gala that Sect Leader Huo appears on!"

"Central TV\'s Spring Festival Gala this year was too crappy. I\'m looking more and more forward to Beijing TV\'s Spring Festival Gala now!"

"I still haven\'t decided on which station I should watch!"

"You should watch Dragon TV as they had some rather good crosstalk and skit routines last year!"

"If we are talking about crosstalk and skit routines, then the top choice would definitely be Beijing TV\'s Spring Festival Gala."

"You\'re right, Beijing TV\'s Spring Festival Gala has invited Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai this year."

"Oh, come on. Their crosstalk is famous for scolding people and the script is full of picking on and scolding others. He will only get a kick out of it by scolding from the start till the end. I also agree that Zhang Ye\'s crosstalk routines are exciting, but how can it be broadcast at an event like the Spring Festival Gala?"

"Uh, that is true. Zhang Ye\'s crosstalk routine probably won\'t even get broadcast, right?"

"Yup, there are still some differences between a gala crosstalk and other crosstalk routines."

"But Zhang Ye can choose to perform a traditional crosstalk routine."

"How can he know how to perform a traditional crosstalk? All his crosstalks are about scolding people!"

"Oh, right! I just remembered!"

"Then what can be done?"

"What else can they do? All the Spring Festival Galas follow this style, so if the entire crosstalk is about scolding people, they definitely won\'t allow him to perform the routine. He won\'t even be able to pass the approval. Zhang Ye\'s crosstalk style is only famous because it\'s meant to be performed at a smaller theater. What people like to watch is him scolding people and smacking their faces. But if he suddenly did not scold others, then who would want to watch? Zhang Ye probably doesn\'t know how to perform a proper crosstalk anyway. In any case, I\'ve never heard Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai perform a proper and traditional form of crosstalk before!"

"Then aren\'t they done for?"

"Now that you guys brought this up, I\'m starting to feel disheartened!"

"Yeah. Initially, I was also looking forward to it. Will Zhang Ye really behave himself when he performs the crosstalk for Beijing TV\'s Spring Festival Gala? Will he follow in the footsteps of Tang Dazhang and his 60 people mass crosstalk, who shouted catchphrases all over the place during the crosstalk at Central TV\'s Spring Festival Gala? If he does, then who would watch it!"

"That might really happen!"

"Then Zhang Ye might as well not appear on the Spring Festival Gala at all!"

"Agreed. Rather than performing such a boring traditional crosstalk, he might as well not perform at all. Just please don\'t have something similar to that Tang Dazhang\'s \'Family Reunion\' performance! Teacher Zhang and Teacher Yao both command a very high status in my heart! Don\'t destroy that perfect image just because you want to get on a Spring Festival Gala!"

"Right, they might as well not get on it at all!"

"Traditional crosstalk routines have reached a low point and it\'s impossible to walk out of it. Even if it were Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai performing a traditional crosstalk, the results would still be the same!"

"Let\'s just wait for tonight and see what happens."

"Hai, we\'ll know everything tonight!"

Discussions were flying around everywhere, especially regarding the crosstalk piece that Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai were doing for this year\'s Beijing Television\'s Spring Festival Gala. The attention garnered was exceptionally high and close to the utmost! They were not like those newly established rookies and had been famous celebrities for some time now. Their reputation and names were very popular within the crosstalk world, having single-handedly reversed the downturn of the crosstalk industry back then. This was why everyone had very high expectations of Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai, so were worried for them this time!

Zhang Ye\'s fans were like that.

Zhang Ye\'s friends were also like that.

Even Zhang Ye\'s enemies were equally concerned about it.

...

At Central TV.

There was a concluding meeting today. When the meeting ended, everyone started chatting among themselves.

The group of people from the Spring Festival Gala production team could no longer bear to not curse anymore. None of them had anything good to say about Zhang Ye due to the hundred-some ridiculing posts that hit the sore spot and pricked right through their hearts. Nobody could tolerate that!

"That Zhang guy, let\'s see how he performs during tonight\'s show!"

"Right, I also want to listen to his crosstalk so that we can flame him as well!"

"This fellow has the thickest skin that I have ever come across! His crosstalk routines are clearly all about scolding people, yet he still has the cheek to come and criticize other people\'s shows? I really have nothing I can say to that!"

"Let\'s see if he can afford to scold people tonight!"

"He won\'t be able to scold anymore. There\'s still the approval board to get through before that."

"If he can\'t scold any people, then who would want to watch his crosstalk? Hur hur."

Chen Ye.

Xu Yipeng.

Tang Dazhang.

Central TV, the crosstalk world, and people from all kinds of industries and different jobs were now waiting to see Zhang Ye make a fool of himself!