I’m Really a Superstar

Central TV.

In a particular break room.

"Hey, Old Tang, you were smoking in here?" A crosstalk actor in his forties walked in. As he spoke, he lit a cigarette for himself.

Tang Dazhang laughed and said, "Smoking is prohibited outside, so I had to sneak in here to have a smoke or two."

The person said, "You aren\'t going to watch your disciples\' performance?"

Tang Dazhang said, "I\'ve already vetted them once, so they should do just fine."

"Next round will be Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai\'s performance. I just asked the staff, and guess what they’re performing? Haha, I\'m certain you won\'t be able to guess it." The crosstalk actor roared with laughter. "The work that the two of them are performing is called \'I will reject the Three Vulgarities\'. They must be in fear after all of the controversy. Now, the crosstalk world, the Folk Art world, and even the Writers\' Association are denouncing them, so Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai can no longer take it. They want to turn over a new leaf!"

Tang Dazhang asked, "Is it true?"

"Definitely. The name has already been submitted." He had also taken interest. "Let\'s go. It\'s going to begin soon. After our smoke, we should gather some people to watch them perform."

Tang Dazhang said, "They must have enjoyed themselves too much by going overboard, incurring the wrath of the masses. So what if the commoners like his crosstalking style? If our industry doesn\'t recognize it, then it\'s completely useless!" Saying that, he felt a great sense of anticipation, so he stubbed his cigarette butt and said, "Let\'s go and take a look."

That person said, "There’s no way our industry will acknowledge that kind of crosstalk which is full of the Three Vulgarities!"

......

Upstairs.

Live broadcast control room.

The person-in-charge of the crosstalk and skit competition decided to hold the ground and monitor things personally this time. He was afraid that another accident or mistake similar to yesterday’s would happen.

"Is everything fine?"

"Definitely."

"Oh, after this live broadcast is halted, cut off Division C\'s signal, and air Division F\'s performance."

This was overall control, which controlled many of the live broadcast signals across many of Central TV\'s channel websites. Amongst them were Central TV\'s Department 11\'s crosstalk competition\'s official website. The live broadcast signal was currently provided to Tang Dazhang\'s disciples\' \'The current state of Crosstalk\'. Zhang Xiao and Liu Yuan were mocking Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai in it, and their program was about to come to an end.

Suddenly, an overhead light flashed!

The equipment experienced an outage for a moment!

"What happened?"

"There was a blackout for a second?"

"Why is there another problem!?"

"The signal has been cut!"

"It\'s alright. The machines have backup power, so just reconnecting them would do!"

The control room began to busy themselves. Many employees were hurriedly adjusting the equipment and reconnecting the signals. They were not only in charge of Department 11\'s crosstalk competition, but they were also responsible for the entire Central TV\'s channels and signals. If something happened here, the other Central TV channels would also be affected, so they naturally had to fix things as soon as possible!

30 seconds ....

One minute...

Finally, the signal was re-established!

The person-in-charge hurriedly said, "Our Department 11\'s competition website, switch it to broadcast Division F."

The technician said, "Hold on. We’ll do it one by one."

The person-in-charge said unhappily, "Ours is a live broadcast, so do ours first!"

After hearing his tone, that person was a bit irritated. After smacking his lips, he still gave priority to Department 11\'s signal. "F...F...Alright, I connected it."

The person-in-charge heaved a sigh of relief and nodded. Only then did he walk away relaxed. He went to the recording studio to monitor the filming as he could not stay here to stare at things all day.

As for the other people left in the control room, they were in a hurry to adjust the other signals!

......

On the web.

Numerous gazes were gathered on the crosstalk competition!

"Hey, who are these two?"

"Zhang Xiao and Liu Yuan. Tang Dazhang\'s disciples."

"They can do crosstalk all they want, but why must these two grandsons ridicule Teacher Zhang and Teacher Yao? Are they sick?"

"Their master and the entire artistic world is denouncing Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai. As his disciples, they naturally have to support him. This is an all-round attack!"

"Ha, those two sure have guts!"

"Ridicule Zhang Ye? Have they never heard of Zhang Ye\'s infamy?"

"That Tang Dazhang and his bunch of critics, or those from the artistic world or crosstalk associations sure are f**ked up. Zhang Ye has never offended them before, right? There was never any conflict with them from the beginning, yet they sure are good. It\'s as if Zhang Ye has killed their entire family? They insist on biting Zhang Ye for no reason without letting go? They want to send him to his death? What sort of f**king people are these so-called artists and artistic associations!? What\'s wrong with Zhang Ye?"

"Those bunch of people keep having the arts hang off their mouths. What is art? What commoners like is called art! A \'I am a Scholar\' is well-liked by all the commoners. All of us are indulging in it, and Teacher Zhang Ye has entertained the masses. Then I think his work is art, but I wonder, why has the standard measurement of artistry become the exclusive right for a particular group of people? Some people keep insisting that this isn\'t art, that this isn\'t crosstalk, then that\'s all there is to it? The commoners or the audience\'s take doesn\'t matter? F**k, then what value is there for the existence of art!? You might as well say and do whatever you want!"

"Nicely said. Those bunch of people have overstepped their boundaries. I also admit that not everyone will like Zhang Ye\'s works. No single form of art can accomplish that. But now, Zhang Ye\'s work has been highly acclaimed by nearly 90% of the people. They like it greatly, but only you so-called professionals are angrily stamping your feet and roaring. This scene sure is a wonder. Yesterday, I helped speak up for Zhang Ye, and in the end, a crosstalk senior came on Weibo to scold me, saying I was just a child and do not know anything about art. He told me to study a few more years. At that moment, I felt like ten thousand strings of "f**k you" overwhelming me. What sort of person was this? Must crosstalk be educative to be considered crosstalk? Is it that we as commoners do not even have the right to like something? We can\'t even have the right to our own aesthetic preferences? We can only like those works highlighted by so-called experts? And I can\'t not like it?"

"That\'s right!"

"Those bunch of people must be mad!"

"They are really sick! It\'s just a few crosstalk actors and critics, but they think of themselves as gods? They even want to summon the wind and rain so as to rule the world!"

"Unconditional support for Zhang Ye!"

"Endure it, Teacher Zhang!"

"Right, we all like you! Don\'t listen to that bunch of people spouting nonsense!"

"Teacher Yao, Teacher Zhang, we will go through thick and thin with you!"

"Zhang Ye, I really didn\'t like you in the past. You went around scolding people and even scolded my idol. Of course, I have cursed you in all sorts of places, but for this matter, I\'ll support you! Fight it out with them!"

Currently it was the most difficult period for Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai. Being banned was a humbling experience to begin with, and with them being out of options, they had attempted to find a new path by participating in the crosstalk competition. Now, having produced a piece of work, they had been condemned by so-called professionals. Everyone seemed insistent on their deaths. For this, the commoners could no longer watch this without doing a thing. On this matter, a majority of commoners stood on Zhang Ye\'s side, including those who had previously warred with Zhang Ye\'s fans. It also included people who did not like him in the past, but they now came to support him.

In such times, the charm of art was this. An excellent piece of work could make a person like another person, completing changing his views. Of course, it might also be that those people believed that despite Zhang Ye being despicable and immoral, compared to those professionals who wanted to destroy him, Zhang Ye was considered a relatively kind person. At least, he had fought for commoners more than once. This fellow\'s personality was a bit bad, and did things or cursed people that rendered others speechless, but his moral standing and character were flawless! As for those so-called professionals? What did they do? What have they done for the commoners? They only knew how to reject others and use their mouths. When commoners left comments, they would be scolded by them. They were told off as lacking the morality their ancestors had, that they did not know art or were were just plainly ignorant? F**k! Based on what!? Do we owe you!?

"I wonder what Zhang Ye and his bro will talk about this time."

"We won\'t be able to see it."

"I\'m waiting to see if there will be a pirated version."

"Forget it. During the recording, it seems cellphones are confiscated."

"Will there be a live broadcast?"

"You sure hope too much. Yesterday\'s live broadcast was a mistake by the staff. It\'s impossible for it to happen again today."

"Ah, why did the signal cut off?"

"Tang Dazhang\'s disciples are done?"

"They weren\'t done. It\'s not cut off. Eh, Central TV\'s other websites also seem to be experiencing problems. Department 1\'s website can\'t be opened. Same for Department 5."

"The signal has been restored. They are now airing Division F\'s crosstalk!"

"Indeed. They really want to ban Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai!"

At the same time, Zhang Ye\'s friends and relatives, as well as numerous people were staring at the live broadcast signal. Maybe they were hoping for a miracle to happen, but they were finally disappointed. Yesterday\'s miracle did not repeat itself.

"Sigh."

"Let\'s disperse."

"Without Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai, there\'s no point watching."

But at this moment, a sharp-eyed netizen suddenly shouted on a message board, "Holy sh*t! Quick look at Department 11\'s official website! Not the crosstalk competition\'s official website! Go one level up, on Department 11\'s main official website!"

"Why?"

"Go see for yourself!"

"Let me see."

As people saw him screaming, they clicked over in wonder. And with that, everyone\'s expressions became the same as what they had yesterday. All of them stared with widened eyes!

Live broadcast!

It was Division C\'s live broadcast signal!

Many people found it unbelievable. The crosstalk competition\'s live stream videos and advertisements were on a subdomain of Department 11. There was a live broadcast page on Department 11\'s official website, but that was for the entire station, and was linked to the television broadcast. It meant that in the semi-finals, only during the live broadcast on television would Department 11\'s official website air the crosstalk competition live. At other times, what aired on this page was synchronized with what was aired on television. For the crosstalk competition\'s preliminaries, the battleground was still on the internet. It had yet to reach television. At this time, Department 11 was airing crosstalk and skits from past year\'s Spring Festival Galas, but now, during that one minute of technical difficulties, what appeared was the live signal from Division C’s crosstalk competition!

"Heavens!"

"Am I seeing wrongly?"

"Haha, Yao Jiancai and Zhang Ye are going onstage!"

"Awesome. To think that there\'s a live broadcast signal here. Did they make a mistake?"

"Hush, everyone spread it amongst yourselves and don\'t publicize it or lodge any complaints. Hehe. Let\'s finish watching the performance first. I was looking forward to this so much!"

"Right, I\'ll tell others!"

"A miracle has happened once again!"

......

Control room.

Everyone was done busying themselves as they heaved a sigh of relief.

As there were too many things to operate and there were too many things to restore, everyone was in disarray, so there were a few mistakes. They also did not discover it, as they were only hoping to restore the signal as soon as possible.

"That was tiring."

"Finally it\'s done."

"Why are there so many problems these two days?"

"Who knows. Our shift is ending. Let\'s prepare to go home."

......

Central TV did not realize this at all.

Many netizens had discovered this secret early on, and spread by word of mouth, telling their friends and family. Immediately, there were more and more people watching!

"Ah!"

"It\'s really a live broadcast!"

"Holy sh*t, I even thought Old Han was bluffing me!"

"Heavens, how small is the probability of this happening?"

The signal was messed up!

The signal was messed up again!

After yesterday, everyone already felt that Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai had gotten some dogshit luck, and was too heaven-defying. They had managed to enjoy an event with such low probability, but after seeing this scene again today, no one could say a thing anymore. This was no longer about low probabilities!

Jinx!

That Zhang Ye was indeed a jinx!

How can such unbelievable and amazing things happen on this fellow!? And how f**king unlucky is Central TV\'s Department 11? Why did they encounter this time and time again!?

***Translator notes:

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Goooo Team Zhang Ye!