Novel Bin Chapter 31 Changed
"Xavier..."
"Yes?"
"We just need to make things as clear as possible. You keep telling me to just calm down and rely on you, but just like my old friends told me, I am useless and always have been."
Taking a deep breath, just as I was about to reassure her, she suddenly flipped out.
"You\'re 17 years old, for God\'s sake! It doesn\'t matter how responsible and mature you are, what kind of mother would I be to let you provide for me?"
"I was so proud of you when you were getting good grades in that high school and saw a great future for you. I can\'t let you waste your youth and life for me."
"Can you just calm down? It\'s probably because you saw how well your old friends\' kids are doing, right?"
She didn\'t answer, but I knew her like the back of my hand and she was lashing out more out of love for me than jealousy.
"Just trust me and I will make sure everything turns out alright. You deserve it," I said, willing to go through thick and thin for her.
However, my words didn\'t do much to ease her worry and guilt, and it seemed as though, while I was sleeping, she had been worrying about everything.
It was understandable for her to feel that way, but still, this reaction was a bit too much.
"Whose to say you can? And I can\'t just relax all day and leave my son who dropped out to work for me. Why can\'t you just live a normal life and act your age for once?"
"Normal life! How do you expect me to live a normal life?! I damn near killed my own father!"
She was shocked to see that I had lost composure in front of her and mentioned that day for the first time as a tear streamed down her face and her hands began to shake uncontrollably.
All the trauma that she had been suppressing for years suddenly flooded her all at once.
"I\'m sorry. I didn\'t mean to..." but my apology fell flat.
Calming down, we fell silent for a minute.
I shouldn\'t have exploded like I did, especially to my very sensitive mother, but after hearing Angela tell Bella about some of my past struggles, it was fresh on my mind.
Thankfully, after calming down, she weirdly had a smile on her face.
"This is the first time since you were a child that you actually opened up and said what you felt."
Now that I thought about it, she was right, and I had never had the chance to express myself with an abusive father and unstable mother.
And since then, have been very cold and struggled to get close to anyone.
Even when I tried to be kind, gentle, and loving, although my actions would appear tender, my eyes would always be cold and indifferent.
It was hard not to be after everything I endured.
"I wonder if it\'s your new girlfriend that\'s responsible for the change in you," she teased, easing up the mood.
"She\'s not my girlfriend, just a friend," I refuted, but not very defensively, making it seem less convincing.
Giving me a wink, there was no point in trying to argue with her, and maybe she wasn\'t wrong.
Angela was the first real friend that I had made, someone I felt comfortable with and overcame a tough situation with.
And along with that, I awakened the Gangster System and had already recruited one beast of a man, so it is feasible that I have begun to change.
"Maybe I have changed," I murmured as I thought about how I have acted over the past few weeks.
It all started when I made the decision to drop out of high school, and maybe that\'s what it took to find myself.
...
"Have I ever let you down, mother?"
"No..."
"So, can you just trust me to handle everything? I will get you the rent money by the end of the week, and will deal with earning money."
Now that she was calmer, she responded, "How? How are you going to earn that much money in a short amount of time while only working a few days a week?"
"Don\'t worry about how. I will get the money. You just need to focus on yourself."
"You better not be...!"
"No, I won\'t turn out like that bastard. Don\'t worry," I assured her, knowing that she was thinking that I might become a criminal like Jack.
But, the truth of the matter was, I was lying, and I don\'t know how long I can keep that promise for.
After seeing how it turned out for my father, her biggest fear was for me to lead a life of crime, and if she knew that I was on the path to becoming the Greatest Gangster, only God knows how she would react.
-
Our relationship was far from that of an ordinary son and mother.
But what we endured was also far from ordinary and I was forced into becoming stronger and more responsible, which my mother knew.
However, she still didn\'t want me to sacrifice my future for her and it was always the same conversation with her.
But now, I found a solution that would put her at ease.
-
"What about your studies? I still don\'t want you to give them up," she added, looking past all the money issues and deciding to trust me, which I was relieved about.
"How about this? Give me a few months to handle some business and make some money, then after that, I will go back to school," I suggested.
In a few months, establishing a gang that can earn money should be possible, especially with the system at my side.
"You promise?"
"Yes, I promise."
With that, I seemed to have eased her worries, and she didn\'t pry too much into what I was doing.
I can\'t break her trust, so I had to keep my word, and studying as a high schooler would be a good cover for me anyway after I was done with my business, so everything seemed to be coming together.
All that was left was to get things started.